Human to Human

I arrived in Portland, Oregon yesterday afternoon. The rain drizzled, of course. Several fallen branches indicated that it has been quite blustery earlier. Luscious greens, of course, a nice contrast to the winter browns of Utah where I live. I haven’t spent a lot of time in Portland but one favorite memories is the large graffiti on a building two summers ago, “Keep Portland Weird.”

I hope for some of that weird these next few days. Weird — thoughtful. Weird — thinking outside of the box. Weird — being willing to explore edges together. I’m here to co-host The Art of Hosting. First in designing the event today with our team of Kevin Hiebert, Aimee Samara, Heather Tischbein, Jenna Ringelheim, Jessica Riehl, and Teresa Posakony. Then in welcoming the full group of 55 participants for the next three days after that.

Last night was an important check-in for our team. We met at a restaurant recommended by Jenna, “Tasty n Sons,” to simply be together. Small and yes, tasty plates passed family style. A cocktail. It was just fun. In a way I don’t want to say more than that. Except that in addition to fun, that check-in was also about weaving a deeper layer of our social field as a team. This was the first time all of us have met in person as a group.

I look for ways to help this weave go well quickly. It requires a shift from the playfulness of social space to the shared attention of council space. It is deliberate listening together, giving added attention to each other as a team and the potential of the event. Last night we chose to use a set of photograph cards developed by a friend, Carla Kimball. The photographs are intriguing images taken by Carla herself. I spread them (I think there are about 100) across our table and asked each in our team to pick an image that helps speak to “your highest potential in these next days.” It was an invitation to stay personal. I then asked each to share some of those words. It is telling stories. I would call it projecting inner awareness to outer expression for the good of our start together. That honesty, as medium, is essential I find on a hosting team. We are not just passing time together — I don’t believe any of us have interest in that. We are, I believe, creating an important container to inspire us through the coming days and into the work that will grow from this event.

Carla’s cards also have a provocative question on the reverse side related to the image. I asked each of us not to look at the question until after sharing our respective attractions to the images. Then to speak spontaneously to the question prompt. “What unhinges you?” brought laughter. “What grounds you?” brought a few shared sighs. It was in-the-moment genuineness that I find irresistible.

Like the environment that makes Portland attractive to me. The conversation had an edge of weird. Attractively so. More in a luscious green kind of way.

 

Be present. Be curious.

These words became a kind of mantra for me about a decade ago. They were simple enough to remember without trying. They were genuine enough to know they came from my belly. They were helpful enough to be widely applicable in both the short and long view of things. These words companioned me through a lot of life. Still do. A “start here” marker and reminder.

Three years prior to that, it was my young son who offered a predecessor mantra. He was four. I know. Crazy, right. I remember him being strapped in his car seat in the passenger back seat. A mop of curly and insanely beautiful hair. Magnetic innocence. I was being partly serious with him and partly playful as I backed the car out of a driveway. Serious because I wanted to know what was happening in his four year-old brain — that has always be fascinating to me. Playful because, well, he was four. “What do you think you should do if you feel confused?” I asked, looking over my shoulder at him. It was a very real question for me related to the work I was involved in. I then watched him through the rear view mirror for his response, which was immediate and uncluttered. “Sit down. Think. Ask for help.” I think he stared out the window while he told me this. He was as nonchalant as if I’d asked him to count to three with me. I knew his words were golden. I recently reminded him, now a senior in high school, of this moment. “I was such a wise baby,” he said playfully.

This week, a friend offered some clear words that I recognize as another clear mantra. For him, they are a rule of life. This friend, like me, is in his fifties. His words were not as response to my probing curiosity. He was just sharing some sense-making, a way of being, that helps with the complexity in his life. He could have just as easily said, “give up and punt.” He didn’t. Instead, reflected out loud. “Be as kind of a person as I can be. Be as good of a person as I can be. Make good decisions for the next fifteen minutes.” Gold. Again.

Clarity is insanely beautiful.

Thanks to Ann Pelo for sending the poem below by Richard Rohr. Ann is a delightful friend and colleague of the last seven years — I love her ability to see the “and” in the “all.” Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Friar, is a person that I have never met in person, yet feel like I’ve often been met by his words. “And” is from his book, The Naked Now.

The Shining Word “And”

“And” teaches us to say yes

“And” allows us to be both-and

“And” keeps us from either-or

“And” teaches us to be patient and long-suffering

“And” is willing to wait for insight and integration

“And” keeps us from dualistic thinking

“And” does not divide the field of the moment

“And” helps us to live in the always imperfect now

“And” keeps us inclusive and compassionate toward everything

“And” demands that our contemplation become action

“And” insists that our action is also contemplative

“And” heals our racism, sexism, heterosexism, and classism

“And” keeps us from the false choice of liberal or conservative

“And” allows us to critique both sides of things

“And” allows us to enjoy both sides of things

“And” is far beyond anyone nation or political party

“And” helps us face and accept our own dark side

“And” allows us to ask for forgiveness and to apologize

“And” is the mystery of paradox in all things

“And” is the way of mercy

“And” makes daily, practical love possible

“And” does not trust love if it is not also justice

“And” does not trust justice if it is not also love

“And” is far beyond my religion versus your religion

“And” allows us to be both distinct and yet united

“And” is the very Mystery of Trinity

Last week I met with Dustin Haggett, one of the key leaders with Impact Hub Salt Lake City. He seems a tireless leader on behalf of Impact Hub. I admire his commitment to starting, and now growing, a co-working space for entrepreneurs in the Salt Lake Valley. It is no small thing to get it all going.

Last week Dustin harvested some of the work on improving air quality that I got to be a part of earlier last year. It’s a good story to be a part of, that I look forward to continuing this year.