What We Practice, We Become

What we practice, we become. There is a simplicity in this, isn’t there. It’s pithy at one level. It’s also deep-diving at another.

These three above — kindness, consciousness, flow — these are three that I rely on. Sometimes when I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m affirming such things. Sometimes, when I don’t know what I’m doing. When I’m looking for ground and a reset.

These three above. They are values. They are intentions. They are goals. They are practices.

I know these three values most through Toke. I can hear his voice at many events, claiming a simplicity and claiming a depth. Claiming human ways. Within self. With others. With the greater pattern that is Life.

I wake up this morning feeling a bit disturbed. A bit jumpy. Nothing in particular. But, also, I think, wanting and needing to feel such simplicity and such depth. To feel such practice. To feel the heart of the center.

I’m glad to know these in my heart. I’m glad to know others who also know it in their hearts. And, who practice. And, who invite others to practice. Or who just live in such beautiful ways.

Perhaps underneath so much of the complexity of humanness lays such simple things. I find that inspiring.

And with ample room to meet ourselves and each other in, well, becoming ways — kind ways, conscious ways, and flowing with Life ways.

Three Questions To Get Started

Earlier this week I met via Zoom with a prospective upcoming client. Which is to say, we said “hello” to each other, to get a sense of presence together. And a vibe. And a sense of wonder. “Hello” is such an important part of the work. It’s a version of starting with generosity — in time, in spirit, in story, in dream. And, it sets pattern for the work we might do together over the coming months. So, fun. And, important.

In such circumstances, I’m usually looking for a question or two to help thicken our hello. Which is to say, give us invitation to get to the thicker stuff. I look for the questions, but truth is, they look for me, little birds that show up on the window sill. Sometimes I use the same questions for a couple of months. But they change. Grow. Evolve. And “fit” differently for different groups. Again, fun.

This week, as is often the case for me, it start’s somewhere and opens up to some connecting layers. I’m happy with Question 1. But Questions 2 and 3 bring a bit more.

  1. What is the simple story here?
    I love inviting simplicity. I’m asking them, and participating with them, to basically give some attention to what’s at the heart of it. Let’s start our work at the heart of it.
  2. What is the simple intent here?
    Again, it’s a gift to get to the core. Intent has heart. But it also has some hands. It invites people to context their doing from the heart of it, the simple story.
  3. What is the outrageous intent here?
    Simple and outrageous are not opposites here. They actually dwell together. I love inviting the courage to have voice, the next layer of what are we really doing, that might only be spoken as a whisper. It’s invitation to take the gloves off and get in.

Hello’s matter. So do good questions. So does a bit of process (circle-based) to bring those voices and hearts together.

Quite life-giving. Which is to say, fun too.

What Time Is It?

I remember, almost, the first time I participated in a conversation framed by the question, “What time is it in the world?” I think it was a World Cafe format. I think Juanita Brown and David Isaacs were lightly steering. This was the 90s. I remember being stirred by how people were being thoughtful. Juanita and David were inviting perspective, which, was the work then, and so often is today.

This Shades of Life video — thx Jerry, Kathy, Janet — asks this question. It sets up some of that context. Fun. And, led by Kathy and Jerry, touches the notion of “jump time,” a kind of punctuated equilibrium. It brings people to added layers of bigger picture and witness, which I love, and, which I feel is so often the work.

A couple of weeks ago I co-hosted a group of clergy which included some riffs on the question:

  • What time is it in the world?
  • What time is it in religious life?
  • What time is it in religious leadership?

Cool, thoughtful responses. I love the way that groups actually have hunger to interact around such questions. I used to see people more often resist these kind of questions. It was resistance that saw some fluff and said, “let’s get to the real work.” These days, oh gosh, so many more people recognize these questions are the real work. Or are the real contexting that helps us get to the real work.

Fun.

In the above video, we all offer some reflection on the question, What time is it? And we reference and play with the 2-Loops model for change that I learned with Meg Wheatley and Deborah Frieze in those early Berkana days. Some of us took that question and that model to a lot of places (Chris, Caitlin, Teresa, Tim, Tuesday, Kathy, Jerry).

In the video I respond with a few one-liners.

  • it’s a time of change
  • it’s a time of rapid change
  • it’s a time of letting go
  • it’s a time of high hopes
  • it’s a time of traumatic stress (both post and continual)
  • it’s a time of hints and hunches (for what helps, centers, moves)

And, and.

I love thoughtful questions. I love questions and contexts that engage the heart, mind, belly. And I love learning with my friends, coming alive, carrying to other place.

What time is it? It’s a time for just such wonder, punctuated here and there with particular actions, but also seasoned well with some long-arc wonder.

Let’s remember.

The Guest House — Rumi

My friend Jeremy Nash recently reminded me of this Rumi poem, The Guest House. Jeremy runs a monthly 1-hour poetry group on Zoom, with small Circle-based groups. I participate when I can. For the poetry. For the friendship. For the wonder.

I love the way this Rumi poem invites a spirit of welcome and a spirit of wonder. Rumi speaks to some of the deep work, perhaps of then, and of today too. He speaks to a what I relate to as a great discipline — of joy, of curiosity, of encountering life. Enjoy.

The Guest House
Jellaludin Rumi, 13th Century Persian Poet

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Gifts of Circle - Question Cardsasd
Gifts of Circle is 30 short essays divided into 4 sections: 1) Circle's Bigger Purpose, 2) Circle's Practice, 3) Circle's First Requirements, and 4) Circle's Possibility for Men. From the Introduction: "Circle is what I turn to in the most comprehensive stories I know -- the stories of human beings trying to be kind and aware together, trying to make a difference in varied causes for which we need to go well together. Circle is also what I turn to in the most immediate needs that live right in front of me and in front of most of us -- sharing dreams and difficulties, exploring conflicts and coherences. Circle is what I turn to. Circle is what turns us to each other."

Question Cards is an accompanying tool to Gifts of Circle. Each card (34) offers a quote from the corresponding chapter in the book, followed by sample questions to grow your Circle hosting skills and to create connection, courage, and compassionate action among groups you host in Circle.

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In My Nature
is a collection of 10 poems. From A Note of Beginning: "This collection of poems arises from the many conversations I've been having about nature. Nature as guide. Nature as wild. Nature as organized. I remain a human being that so appreciates a curious nature in people. That so appreciates questions that pick fruit from inner being, that gather insights and intuitions to a basket, and then brings the to table to be enjoyed and shared over the next week."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in In My Nature. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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Most Mornings is a collection of 37 poems. I loved writing them. From the introduction: "This collection of poems comes from some of my sense-making that so often happens in the morning, nurtured by overnight sleep. The poems sample practices. They sample learnings. They sample insights and discoveries. They sample dilemmas and concerns."

This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes)  quotes a few favorite passages from poems in Most Mornings. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.

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