Becoming & Belonging (B & B) -- Weekly small group Circles for learning, connecting, and going just a bit deeper. Jump in once, or as often as your heart pings.
This poem seems to be in a regular orbit for me. It comes around every now and then. This time from my friend Jeremy (thx Jeremy). The poem lands in just the right ways, invoking simple things that we do and that we often receive.
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you” when someone sneezes, a leftover from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying. And sometimes, when you spill lemons from your grocery bag, someone else will help you pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other. We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot, and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder, and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass. We have so little of each other, now. So far from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange. What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here, have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.”
I enjoy Shawna’s writing. She’s much more of a curator than I will ever be. Her words are quite beautiful. And informative. Her photography is really moving, I find.
I’ve learned and known rituals primarily in two contexts.
One, with Soultime Men’s Group, where on our weekend retreats one key aspect is creating ritual. It’s saved for our last full day. Sometimes it takes us the better part of a day to discover what the ritual will be. Soultime ritual is journey to the non-linear. It is resonance, so often with the unseen. I find it moves my heart and belly in ways that last. We rely on things like a drum, sometimes stones, sometimes notes to be given to a fire. Sometimes song. Sometimes sage. Sometimes silence.
Two, I’ve learned and known ritual in Circle, which has meant bringing objects to the center, to the hearth. And sometimes, to a fire. Christina Baldwin embodied this at a time when I was really ready to learn. She was offering advice — “Become a ceremonialist.” It was instruction for the heart, to go to ritual. Light a candle. Carry a stone. Wash hands in the ocean or the pond. Release something to the ground. I’ve done quite a bit of this over the last 25 years. Speak an intention. Let go of a wound. Invite a new birth.
Ritual dislocates us from the linear, rational mind. Ritual relocates us to the heart, to the flow and resonance of a much bigger story. Ritual alchemizes. Ritual opens. Ritual reminds us that we are not alone.
And, and…
Back to Shawna’s blog. She wrote recently, some of her learning from reading a book by Byung Chul Han. Her words move me. In mind, and in heart. In the great story that is timeless. And in the day to day that requires commitment and navigation.
From Shawna…
— I’ve been reading The Disappearance of Rituals by Byung-Chul Han. Rituals stabilize life, he says, and he quotes Antoine de Saint-Exupéry who says rituals are “temporal techniques of making oneself at home in the world.” He talks about how things can be stabilizing points, a table, a chair. But today, things are consumed, taking away the mode of lingering. He talks about how smartphones are not things because “lingering” is “impossible.” There is a “restlessness inherent in the apparatus [that] makes it a non-thing.” We are compelled compulsively by our phones. “They consume us.”
— “Ritual practices ensure that we treat not only other people but also things in beautiful ways, that there is an affinity between us and other people as well as things…” (Byung-Chul Han).
— “Digital communication is extensive communication; it does not establish relationships, only connections.” (BCH) Digital communication is disembodied, but “rituals are processes of embodiment.”
What I tell people in Pick A Card (Becoming & Belonging Series) is that it is a format for getting insight, information, and intuition. Three “i’s” that I want to pattern back to common epistemology — ways of knowing that guide ways of being.
What I tell people, and myself, is that there is a much bigger story to guide how we learn, how we live, and how we lead.
The cards above are the ones that a group of us drew this week. Exploring respective circumstances for which we wanted insight, intuition, and information.
Spring is springing in Utah. Where Dana and I often walk, these trees are bursting with buds and blossoms, all so near flowering. Much is abuzz.
I am a person that quite regularly looks for operating systems of life. The kind of orientations that align with life flowing. And with mystery. And with beauty. And with calling.
Today, I’m appreciating the Irish writer and theologian, John O’Donohue. His opening words in his book Eternal Echoes, offer such sweet operating system for humans springing.
Enjoy.
Matins
I. Somewhere, out at the edges, the night Is turning and the waves of darkness Begin to brighten the shore of dawn.
The heavy dark falls back to earth And the freed air goes wild with light, The heart fills with fresh, bright breath And thoughts stir to give birth to colour.
II. I arise today
In the name of Silence Womb of the Word, In the name of Stillness Home of Belonging, In the name of the Solitude Of the Soul and the Earth.
I arise today
Blessed by all things, Wings of breath, Delight of eyes, Wonder of whisper, Intimacy of touch, Eternity of soul, Urgency of thought, Miracle of health, Embrace of God.
May I live this day
Compassionate of heart, Gentle in word, Gracious in awareness, Courageous in thought, Generous in love.
Gifts of Circle
asd Gifts of Circle is 30 short essays divided into 4 sections: 1) Circle's Bigger Purpose, 2) Circle's Practice, 3) Circle's First Requirements, and 4) Circle's Possibility for Men. From the Introduction: "Circle is what I turn to in the most comprehensive stories I know -- the stories of human beings trying to be kind and aware together, trying to make a difference in varied causes for which we need to go well together. Circle is also what I turn to in the most immediate needs that live right in front of me and in front of most of us -- sharing dreams and difficulties, exploring conflicts and coherences. Circle is what I turn to. Circle is what turns us to each other."
Question Cards is an accompanying tool to Gifts of Circle. Each card (34) offers a quote from the corresponding chapter in the book, followed by sample questions to grow your Circle hosting skills and to create connection, courage, and compassionate action among groups you host in Circle.
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In My Nature
asd
In My Nature is a collection of 10 poems. From A Note of Beginning: "This collection of poems arises from the many conversations I've been having about nature. Nature as guide. Nature as wild. Nature as organized. I remain a human being that so appreciates a curious nature in people. That so appreciates questions that pick fruit from inner being, that gather insights and intuitions to a basket, and then brings the to table to be enjoyed and shared over the next week."
This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes) quotes a few favorite passages from poems in In My Nature. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.
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Most Mornings + Note Cards
asd Most Mornings is a collection of 37 poems. I loved writing them. From the introduction: "This collection of poems comes from some of my sense-making that so often happens in the morning, nurtured by overnight sleep. The poems sample practices. They sample learnings. They sample insights and discoveries. They sample dilemmas and concerns."
This set of Note Cards (8 cards + envelopes) quotes a few favorite passages from poems in Most Mornings. I offer them as inspiration. And leave room for you to write personal notes.
