Category: General Learning

Some things just make me say a genuine out loud, “hmmm?” With my friend and colleague Kinde Nebeker, there is a lot of that. We continue to explore the topic of Evolutionary Leadership. We are developing curriculum. We are adding participative process for workshops. We are searching into the center of what this is. It’s one of those really delightful inquiries that I find myself looking forward to in the day.

One aspect that I found myself noticing this week is how evolution often connotes a natural process that arrives when the time is right. Not “forcing something in to being prematurely.” Rather, when the conditions are prominent enough to require the beginning of a significant shift.  Walking on two feet didn’t happen in the first days of our species. The white peppered moth did not become the black sooty moth overnight.

There is an inevitability to evolution. Because people and species adapt, inherently. Arguably, because a species is born to adapt. In humans, biologically, yes. But also emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. That doesn’t mean that we as humans in the 21st century don’t fight it and resist it sometimes. It doesn’t mean that we don’t try to help a shift arrive before its time. We do that sometimes too. But there is an “already happening” quality to it isn’t there.

In leadership, I wonder what is already happening and inevitably arriving. Like the awareness that we are wiser together rather than alone. Like the procedural choice to convene people and create interaction rather than separation. Like the approaches that welcome not just brain intelligence, but also emotional intelligence and intuitive intelligence.

Ah, there is more. But this is a teaser. A missive of thought-in-progress that continues to intrigue. And points my inquiry to notice and try on the lenses that have me seeing “inevitable arriving” rather than “forcing.” Hmmm?

A friend emailed me today. She shared her appreciation for a recent event that I got to co-host on the inner and outer of evolutionary leadership.

My friend asks, “How can I marry the inner to the outer?” Her question is a response to naming many valuable inner practices — meditation, breath, time in nature, slowing down — and longing for those, or the feeling created by them, to be part of the everyday teams and meetings that we are all part of.

Earlier today, another two people that I’m coaching asked a question about meeting format. They were asking a similar question about the outer. I gave them simple suggestions, in this case, to help shift a meeting from unintended passive listening to deliberate engagement with one another. I shared the basic story — you want them to turn to each other, to discover meaning together, rather than just hearing it from one person, albeit a smart person.

I suggested three rounds of questions to engage. 1) What was meaningful to you in what you just heard? 2) What does that have to do with us? 3) What does this inspire you to do?

Here’s the point. Turning to one another to share story and be in questions together activates an inner quality through an outer act. I’ve observed this many times. People who don’t know each other become close quickly, because they have shared authentically. Even people who already know each other become closer, often in surprising ways.

The surprise that I love seeing is when people recognize that by this turning to one another, they have experienced something joyful, and, that they got a lot done — sometimes the next steps to a project.

This header of evolutionary leadership continues to feel promising to me. In part, because it creates this marriage that my first friend was speaking, reminding us of what is possible yet has often been trained out of us.

I recently shared this with my son, embarking on a rite of passage journey. It was a moment of father’s advice.

I’ve met a lot of people that are good at figuring out the whole plan, every detail. That’s impressive. However, one of the skills you can master further, and that I believe is even more important, is just figuring out the moment in front of you. It requires a deep faith. You’re actually very good at this. Paying attention to the moment in front of you is a way of listening. It’s a way of being inspired. It’s a way of being directed. From one moment to the next. It’s a freedom to just start where you feel inspired, knowing that all is a contribution. 

There are times when only a few things can be said. Only an essence. I find this as a father. I find this also when I am working with groups and teams who are trying to live into a different paradigm, perhaps their own rite of passage.

For me these are times when I hope that I’m getting it “right.” That thought itself is worth some attention — it’s rather nerve-racking to think of needing to get it perfectly right.

But, back to the beginning. Turn this on self. “Get it right for the moment,” I try to remind myself. Or the best sense of “helpful” for the moment.

Fear of all the other moments can be far to distracting.