Category: General Learning

Be present. Be curious.

These words became a kind of mantra for me about a decade ago. They were simple enough to remember without trying. They were genuine enough to know they came from my belly. They were helpful enough to be widely applicable in both the short and long view of things. These words companioned me through a lot of life. Still do. A “start here” marker and reminder.

Three years prior to that, it was my young son who offered a predecessor mantra. He was four. I know. Crazy, right. I remember him being strapped in his car seat in the passenger back seat. A mop of curly and insanely beautiful hair. Magnetic innocence. I was being partly serious with him and partly playful as I backed the car out of a driveway. Serious because I wanted to know what was happening in his four year-old brain — that has always be fascinating to me. Playful because, well, he was four. “What do you think you should do if you feel confused?” I asked, looking over my shoulder at him. It was a very real question for me related to the work I was involved in. I then watched him through the rear view mirror for his response, which was immediate and uncluttered. “Sit down. Think. Ask for help.” I think he stared out the window while he told me this. He was as nonchalant as if I’d asked him to count to three with me. I knew his words were golden. I recently reminded him, now a senior in high school, of this moment. “I was such a wise baby,” he said playfully.

This week, a friend offered some clear words that I recognize as another clear mantra. For him, they are a rule of life. This friend, like me, is in his fifties. His words were not as response to my probing curiosity. He was just sharing some sense-making, a way of being, that helps with the complexity in his life. He could have just as easily said, “give up and punt.” He didn’t. Instead, reflected out loud. “Be as kind of a person as I can be. Be as good of a person as I can be. Make good decisions for the next fifteen minutes.” Gold. Again.

Clarity is insanely beautiful.

Thanks to Ann Pelo for sending the poem below by Richard Rohr. Ann is a delightful friend and colleague of the last seven years — I love her ability to see the “and” in the “all.” Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Friar, is a person that I have never met in person, yet feel like I’ve often been met by his words. “And” is from his book, The Naked Now.

The Shining Word “And”

“And” teaches us to say yes

“And” allows us to be both-and

“And” keeps us from either-or

“And” teaches us to be patient and long-suffering

“And” is willing to wait for insight and integration

“And” keeps us from dualistic thinking

“And” does not divide the field of the moment

“And” helps us to live in the always imperfect now

“And” keeps us inclusive and compassionate toward everything

“And” demands that our contemplation become action

“And” insists that our action is also contemplative

“And” heals our racism, sexism, heterosexism, and classism

“And” keeps us from the false choice of liberal or conservative

“And” allows us to critique both sides of things

“And” allows us to enjoy both sides of things

“And” is far beyond anyone nation or political party

“And” helps us face and accept our own dark side

“And” allows us to ask for forgiveness and to apologize

“And” is the mystery of paradox in all things

“And” is the way of mercy

“And” makes daily, practical love possible

“And” does not trust love if it is not also justice

“And” does not trust justice if it is not also love

“And” is far beyond my religion versus your religion

“And” allows us to be both distinct and yet united

“And” is the very Mystery of Trinity

Last week I met with Dustin Haggett, one of the key leaders with Impact Hub Salt Lake City. He seems a tireless leader on behalf of Impact Hub. I admire his commitment to starting, and now growing, a co-working space for entrepreneurs in the Salt Lake Valley. It is no small thing to get it all going.

Last week Dustin harvested some of the work on improving air quality that I got to be a part of earlier last year. It’s a good story to be a part of, that I look forward to continuing this year.

My friend Bob Stilger is very committed to change and leadership in Japan. He’s been that way for 40 years. He often works in support of “Future Centers.” They are networks of communities and other organizations that are exploring a deliberate and desirable future together, particularly after the triple disasters — tsunami, nuclear accident, and earthquake — of 2011.

In 2013 Bob offered a TedX Talk on the primary theme of his work Resilient Communities: Calling Communities Back to Life. The video itself has an ironic and comedic edge, given the technical difficulties that occurred while he was presenting. Yet Bob just kept adapting, just as he was advocating through the content and stories of his talk.

Bob described several qualities that add to a system’s resilience. They are what people can do, particularly when there is trauma. At one level these appear to be individual actions and strategies. Of course. But they are also community actions and strategies. They are community practices. Community practices that when expressed repeatedly and with randomness, create an overarching culture of resilience. I believe this is at the heart of what Bob is supporting.

Enjoy the simplicity of these. I do. Then watch the Ted Talk. Bob has a way of naming starting points that interrupt the patterns of paralysis that can often occur in complex systems. They are invitations to get going and do something, but not just reactive anythings. They have coherence with a larger intention of systems change.

• be yourself
• do what matters
• stand up and continue
• stand together
• try stuff; experiment and learn
• embrace ambiguity
• enjoy it