Category: Tenneson Woolf Poetry

I wrote this poem at a time of life, a time of trouble, when I was exploring a few important decisions. And a few nuances of boundaries. And the steps forward that went with a few lettings go.

For inspiration.

Say Yes, Say No

There are moments in our lives
when we are invited
to say a real yes.

It’s not the casual yes,
nor the flippant yes,
nor the sarcastic yes,
nor the inattentive yes.

A real yes
can change everything.
A real yes
can establish a new direction marking the difference that was “then” and what is “now.”

There are moments in our lives
when we are invited
to say a real no.

It’s not the casual no,
nor the dismissive no,
nor the distracted no,
nor the avoidant no.

A real no
can change everything.
A real no
can set new direction of a claimed life.

It isn’t every yes and no
that begins a great journey.
But some yes’ and no’s
reset the heartbeat of life.

I’ve been having this conversation with my 20 year-old. Looking for ways to guide him into these next 2-3 years of his life. And looking for ways that celebrate who he is. School is not an easy path for him — though he has new excitement about a music program. The jobs he has worked haven’t lit him up. He didn’t stick with them. He is slowly acknowledging that a job does relate to a few more choices — some moola helps with the basics of freedom that he wants.

In a recent parent moment of hoping to say something helpful, I landed on, “your twenties are a time to experiment, to try things, to see what you love, to learn a bit about what you don’t love.” He smiled. Like he was being seen in a way that he wants to be seen. I smiled back, glad to have spoken something honest, and that he could receive (phew).

Well, lately I’ve been thinking a lot about these increments of living. Twenties. Forties. Sixties (which I occupy). Eighties. It’s my search for the bigger, yet more simple story that guides. And, because I’m me, I prosed it. Phew.

If the 20s are for experimenting, 
trying things,
learning what you like beyond the context of your parents,

the 40s are then a time to thrive with what you love,
accomplishing things, 
and learning through a few rough mistakes or disappointments,

which makes the 60s a time to experiment again,
this time with what is simplified,
and comes from essence,

and then the 80’s, should those happen,
well this is a time to offer kind eldering to the others,
and enjoy a cup of tea reflecting on it all.

The ducks swim in Oquirrh Lake. In the calm of a spring evening. As Dana and I walk the lake path. We marvel at the bigness of it all. The distant snow-capped Wasatch Mountains. The rising moon, near full. The bridge that offers walking passage. The stillness of what we see out there. And the stillness that we feel together; holding hands into our third year together.

There is a simplicity in all of it that I find is an essential guide. It’s the part of me that so loves to hear and honor what is deeply inner. And how that dances with all that moves in the outer. There is a simplicity that visits me. I love welcoming the most simple of phrases. Reminding me, perhaps you too, of the quiet that so often reassures.

I must 
trust
aa source.

Trust
that voice,
aa that speaks clarity.

Trust
that belly,
aa that delights simplicity.

Trust
that intuition
aa that dances joy.

So much
natural good 
aa happens then.