What to Take Responsibility For

Ok, so this is a big topic. I don’t have intent to take on all of it.

However, you know how sometimes when you’ve been thinking about something for a while without getting enough clarity (hours, days, months, years), and then it pops up quite magically as if the gestation period just became clear.

Some of that happened for me this week in c0-hosting a group of 50 at AoH – PDX, in Portland, Oregon. I scribbled the clarity about responsibility and teaching on the paper above.

These come from a lot of wondering for me, perhaps in the category of what’s mine to take on, and what’s not. What’s kind to take on, and what’s not. What I’m able to take on, and what I’m not.

  1. I’m NOT Responsible For Another Person’s Learning — Truth be told, I want every participant at the events I’m hosting to love every moment and to get every minute detail as well as the breadth of the long arcs. There are many things I hope people get. But in the end, I don’t know what people will learn. It might be the model I’m sharing. It might be something far more nuanced that is stimulated by learning the model. I’m probably not totally done with falling into feeling it’s my responsibility. But I’m going to hold this as key learning.
  2. I AM Responsible to Create Container — I loved emphasizing together with my friends and colleagues, Kevin Heibert, Jessica Riehl, and Sara Rosenau that the event is three days long. It’s not one day. It’s not one afternoon. Some people get churned delightfully. Some get frustrated. What is mine to take on is a quality and deliberate container. Good checkins. Good teachings. Helpful tools. Helpful learning environments in which people can feel safe enough, creative, connected, and imaginative.
  3. I AM Responsible to Extend Invitation — All of learning is invitation. You can lead a horse to water, but no, can’t make it drink. Sometimes the invitation is to be in the big story. Sometimes it is to find a few inspirations of application. Even when I totally implore people to get something that means a lot to me and is central to the body of work, my job is to invite people to get it for themselves and not just because I love the bejeebers out of it.
  4. I AM Responsible to Get Myself In The Room — This means being present. This means showing up with my learning. This means showing up to be honest, authentic, and following what I love. My friend Quanita has been sharing some really good emphasis on this lately. “If I can get myself in the room,” she says, “then spirit can work through me.” I don’t know all of what that means, but I relate to it. When I’m in learning, people seem to arrive more open in their learning. And, well, it’s really fun.

Good stuff. Simple stuff. Good surprise.

Glad to have it arising from a great week.


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